Out of the Dark, into the Light

“God is light; in him, there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth” 1 John 1:6 NIV.

Ok, I confess, I am a liar! This verse makes it clear to me. Now I see that I have been walking in darkness; yet still claiming to have a relationship with God. What is “walking in darkness”? How do we know when we are “walking in darkness”?

Darkness is anything that is not about God, because it is not light. Darkness is an attachment, or attraction to, a thing, idea, or person who is not of God. Darkness, bondage, strongholds – all these stop us from experiencing our full godly potential. They are the weapons of the evil spiritual forces and powers that aim to divert us from God’s light (Ephesians 6:12).

Through prayer, God revealed to me certain areas of darkness in my life. Through reflection of my current state of mind and body, God revealed the lies and deceptions in one area of my life. (Yes, one thing at a time!) I have been in the dark and it is not pretty. Mental confusion, emotional heartache, physical pain, and spiritual loss – they are all there in the darkness.

In the darkness, my mind holds onto statements of my uselessness. “I don’t have the abilities to serve God the way I think he is calling me, such as writing the faith stories of other Christians.” “No one wants to share their story for the purpose of encouraging others on their faith journey.” “Everyone wants to keep their struggles to themselves.”

In the darkness, my heart aches as I grow sad about my uselessness. Depression comes on – “I can barely think straight enough to write anything.” Hope is lost – “What’s the use of even thinking about writing.” Anger strikes out – “What is the matter with me?” Frustration overtakes – “If I can’t write, what else can I do?”

In the darkness, my body aches as my arthritis flares up. A tension headache lasts for several days, sometimes forcing me to lie down and do nothing. My lower back stiffens up more than usual. “Why won’t the pain go away? Am I going to die?”

In the darkness, my spirit searches for God, but finds only dark. “God must think very little of my abilities. I must be a low priority to him.”

Stop already! Barb - turn to God! Pick up your Bible and meet him there in his Word! He is there, waiting for you to focus on him!

Jesus spoke, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” John 8:12.

Yes! That’s it! I remember! Somehow I got sidetracked by subtle evil ways. Oh, no more!

In the light, my mind focuses on “whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy” (Philippians 4:8). In fact, God did give me abilities: “A spiritual gift is given to each of us as a means of helping the entire church” (1 Corinthians 12:7 NLT). What joy!

In the light, my heart recognizes the fruit of the Spirit that lives in me: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22). I am not useless – I can use all of these great qualities to make a difference in people’s lives!

In the light, my body, ahhhh; the pain has subsided. A day with only one pain pill needed. Movement is improved – I can get out and about to serve others in the name of Christ.

In the light, my spirit bathes in God’s point of view about me: “Barb, I have examined your heart and know everything about you. I know when you sit down or stand up. I know your every thought even when I am far away. I, Almighty God, have charted the path ahead of you and tell you where to stop and rest. Every moment I know where you are . . . I go before you and follow you . . . I place my hand of blessing on your head . . . you can never escape from my Spirit and my presence . . . I made all the delicate, inner parts of your body and knit them together in your mother’s womb . . . You are wonderfully complex and marvelously constructed – how well you know it! . . . I have precious thoughts about you, so many they outnumber the grains of sand . . . When you wake up I am there for you!” (based on Psalm 139).

O Lord, now I know when I am walking in the light! Help me to weld these truths to my mind and my heart. You do have special work for me to do – I just need to pray, watch, and walk on your path. O Lord, your Word is my focus; forgive me when it is not. You give me mercy, forgiveness and love. I am out the dark, and in the light! Praise to you, Lord!

Postscript: Beloved reader: On the same day that I post this blog entry, a friend sent me someone's faith story that needs editing! God is indeed faithful!